'Insecure' explores Black-Asian relationships

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The characters in an interracial relationship in 'Insecure' are played by Andrew Hodge and Yvonne Orji

Even in 2020, HBO's Insecure showed in its Episode 7 "Lowkey Trippin'" that interracial relationships is still a minefield filled with hidden tripwires with ordinance ready to explode.

Insucure's creator Issa Rae, who plays the main character in this series, created a minor blow-up a few years back when she wrote in her book that Asian men and black women should get together since both were rated "least desirable" on several online dating weibsites. She got a lot a flack, mainly from her black fans, for even suggesting dating out of their race.

"Andrew," the hot Asian boyfriend of her Issa's best friend Molly, played by Yvonne Orji, could be her way as pushing back against that criticism. I mean, besides being hot (pan to shots of his shirtless torso revealing those abs) he is so in tune with the racial dynamics of the Molly/Andrew relationship in the show. Rather than skirt around the obvious, Rae chooses to confront the show in the context of a sitcom with some serious messaging.

What's cool is that "Andrew," the Chinese American character played by Asian Australian actor Andrew Hodge gets to flesh out his character. He's Issa's best friend's boyfriend, dubbed "Asian BAE" by women fans of the show, has set a high standard for Asian males.

Up to now, his main role was to be hot and to be the sounding board for Molly to bounce off  her numerous issues. In this episode, we get to see him in action remaining oh-so-cool and sensitive to Molly's needs. 

In this season's episode 7, the show introduces Andrew's brother and sister-in-law. Victor and Lydia, played by Stephen Oyoung and Camille Chen, respectively. They accompany Andrew and Molly on a weekend jaunt to a Mexican resort.

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A discussion on racism goes awry in 'Insecure.

An incident at the resort pool was the most interesting part of the episode when a discussion on racism gets heated. 

Someone splashes water that stings Lydia because she is wearing contacts. Molly gets up to get her a towel. As she waits in line to get a towel, a white couple in front of her get a whole pile of towels with no fuss. But when Molly asks for a towel, the woman asks for a room key to prove she is a guest. Despite Molly's pleas, the towel woman insists.

Just as Molly is about to explode, Victor walks up behind her and shows his room key. The woman hands the towel to Victor, slighting Molly. Molly grabs the towel to give to Lydia.

Back at the pool, Victor tries to brush off the racial incident. "You don’t know for sure so you could be making your life harder by assuming (its racism)," he said.  

"You think I haven't experienced racism," he continues, " I do. And it sucks. But how I react to it is my choice. You don''t have to give it so much power."

Molly: Wow! OK.

Victor: OK, She was just asking for a room key.

Molly: No. No, she wasn't. Just mine.

Lydia: This is what white people want. To divide us.

Yeah. You just have know when to pick your battles.

Molly: "That's easy for you to say. Y'all think of yourselves as people of color only when it benefits you."

Lydia: Oh, no!

Andrew: That's not true. I don't think like that

Molly: You're different.

Victor: Seems to me, you're picking and choosing to who you're giving the benefit of the doubt to. You have to learn to pick your battles.

Molly: (exasperated) You know what? I'm done.

Molly stalks off. 

And that folks, is an example of why its going to be a difficult conversation between Blacks and Asians.

That's the first time I've seen that conversation came up on TV, perhaps because of the explosive nature of the conversation. More likely, no one has ever thought to write about it until a show centering on a black woman, 

You have to watch the episode yourself to find out what the final outcome is, but suffice it to say, Andrew keeps his cool and knows how to talk to women.

With the rise in anti-Asian incidents and the ongoing racial injustice faced by Blacks drawing the two communities together, as Insecure demonstrates, it is a conversation that needs to occur because even though we use the same vocabulary in addressing the issue of racism, the different perspectives demands that a more nuanced, honest respectful discussion needs to take place if we are to be allies in the fight for equality and justice.

Lesson learned? An argument with a black person about racism, no matter how nuanced, is an argument you're not going to win.