Coming-out guide for AAPIs released In several languages in time for Lunar New Year

ASAM NEWS

The National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance (NQAPIA) and Human Rights Campaign (HRC) released new, translated coming out guides for LGBTQIA Asian Americans, Them reported.

The guide, entitled "Coming Out: Living Authentically as LGBTQ Asian and Pacific Islander Americans," is intended to serve “as a valuable conversation starter” for LGBTQIA Asian Americans, their families, and communities, according to a statement from HRC’s Senior Director of Strategic Initiatives & Research, Ty Cobb.

“For many Asian and Pacific Islander Americans, coming out is a lifelong process that can require a different approach because of cultural norms or traditions that emphasize duty to family and community,” the guide reads. “This can make the coming out process more complex to navigate.”

The guide also acknowledges that language barriers can make it difficult to properly describe experiences or terms, as well as find outside resources to support LGBTQIA members.

It is available in Simplified Chinese, Hindi, Korean, Japanese, and Vietnamese on the HRC website.

Since more than six in ten Asian Americans are immigrants, many American-born children feel an obligation to fulfill the better life dreamed of by their parents, the guide says. As a result, LGBTQIA Asian Americans may fear “disappointing their parents, and will avoid doing anything that might humiliate them or bring shame upon the family among the wider community.” They may be compelled to carry out “rigid gendered” expectations, such as marrying and having children.

Parents may also feel as if they’ve “failed” their children in “turning them LGBTQIA,” or fear the backlash from members of the community. But given time, some parents do accept their children, such as the parents of Jenny Shimizu, an openly-lesbian actor and model.

“When I came out, I was 21 and my parents spent three months at first shocked, and then they joined PFLAG… they became so political, and they realized that being gay wasn’t a huge crisis that couldn’t be overcome,” Shimizu said. “They needed to be educated so they took steps to do that; it’s nice to have that support.”

However, only 17% have had family get involved in the larger LGBTQ community, according to an HRC 2019 report on LGBTQIA Asian American youth.

In the report, 43% say their families “make them feel bad for being LGBTQ,” including 57% of transgender and gender-expansive youth and 36% of cisgender LGBTQ youth. A minority, 19%, report they can “be themselves at home” without feeling rejected or depressed, hearing negative views about the community from family members, or being expected to present as heterosexual, cisgender individuals.

A majority of LGBTQIA Asian Americans also struggle with racism from the outside community, including at school and work.

But Glenn Magpantay, executive director of NQAPIA, implores those who have not come out or not feel acceptance to not feel alone:

“Above all, know that there is no specific ‘mold’ you have to fit, even as you may feel pressure from your family or community,” he said in a statement. “Being LGBTQ does not make you any less Asian, Pacific Islander, or any other national heritage or ethnic or racial identity you may hold.”