Do European/Americans get too stressed out when talking about race?

From a BuzzFeed video.

DON'T BE too hard on your European/American coworkers or classmates. Life is getting more uncomfortable for them as they find it nearly impossible to not interact with people of color in our changing America.

As the Black Lives Matter movement, the political rhetoric of the presidential candidates,  the attacks against Muslims, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia and the attempts to use the Model Minority Myth against other people of color clearly demonstrates - race is still a dividing line in America.

The lens through which we People of Color (POC) see the world is dramatically different from the way European/Americans see the world.

While European/Americans may find it difficult to talk about race, that is a topic most of us are all too familiar with since we deal with it every day. EVERY DAY! 

Racism has taken a different form from the days of lynchings and cross-burnings that spurred the Civil Rights Movement.

In our country's discourse, racism is still defined as a matter of individual, intentional and overt action. If there isn’t a noose hanging, many people will not identify an action as being racist, even if it results in racial disparities. Redefining racism as something that is often systemic, unconscious and hidden is a reboot that all Americans need right now, whatever their age.

The brilliant satirist Molly Ivins said: ‘The second George Bush was born on third base but believes he hit a triple.’ In the same vein, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's father gave him $1 million to start his career and the Donald believes he's a self-made man.. That gets to the heart of what white privilege is all about, Bush, Trump and many folks in the top 1 percent are people who achieved their status in life and believe it’s solely because they have sacrificed and worked hard.

it may be too easy to dump on Euro/Americans in retaliation for all the slights and microaggressions heaped upon you as you were growing up, you might unwittingly push them into a self-defensive corner.

As this video from our friends at BuzzFeed demonstrates, not sharing the experiences of POC, even the most well-intentioned EA's - many of whom we call our friends - get tense and awkward about the topic or race. They may be reluctant to join the race conversation, you shouldn't avoid it either when the topic arises. It is important that they understand your perspective if you want your friendship to flower or professional relationship to prosper.

When is the best time for that conversation on race? It could be anytime or anywhere. Drinks after work, at a friend's party, during a video game, at a pizza joint or in the classroom. Your EA friend/corworker/classmate should feel honored that you trust them enough to include them with the thoughts we have been taught to keep to ourselves.

When the forbidden race topic comes up, try hard not to get defensive or too combative, says Derald Wing Sue, a psychology and education professor at Teachers College, Columbia University and author of “Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence.”and “Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation,”

“Most whites get defensive – ‘Oh no, you are just over-sensitive. You are reading something into it,” Sue says. “Entertain a possibility that the individual bringing up the observation, complaint or a problematic situation may be accurate. Don’t shut it off immediately by denouncing it because it is not within your consciousness."

When people say that they are "color-blind" in their relationships, they are missing the point. The color of my skin helped define who we are. If someone doesn't see the tone of our skin, they are not seeing us.

People of color shouldn’t let themselves off the hook, either, says Sue. Consider how you might respond to the earnest efforts of whites you know by asking questions and allowing them to be human, too. “Committing blunders is okay if we learn from them. When you commit a racial blunder, it’s how you recover, not how you cover up. ... I try to communicate that we are all good, moral, decent individuals. I don’t see you personally as the antagonist or the enemy. ... You weren’t born wanting to be a racist. ... You took this on, through a painful process of conditioning, just like I as a person of color have been culturally conditioned in ways that have been harmful to me. . . . We need to work together to overcome these shackles of cultural conditioning.”

We are all human and we all have our own personal biases based on our own personal experiences and the environment in which we were raised. Maybe admitting that is Step One.

For more news about Asian/Americans and Pacific Islanders, link to AsAm News.

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REVIEW: Documentary explores the pros and cons of being white in America

Besides plenty of tears, there were plenty of a-ha moments in MTV's "White People."

WHITE PEOPLE,  the MTV-produced documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas created a bit of stir - for a little while, anyway.

There were those that hated it and those who loved it.

Critics said that the 40-minute documentary that explored what it is like to be a white in America, circa 2015 was simplistic in its approach and didn't go far enough.

Those who loved it, loved that the white subjects found themselves in an uncomfortable situation confronting their biases, expectations and the privilege built into our society.

As expected, the show generated a lot of response on the Internet. (Here is another article.) As one tweeter-of-color wrote: (I'm paraphrasing) "They were uncomfortable for an hour, I'm uncomfortable all my life."

To watch the entire episode of White People, click here.

Many of the issues addressed in the documentary are familiar to people of color. That's because people of color are always talking about race issues and race relations. The issue of race is woven into their everyday lives and impossible for them to ignore.

Pulitzer Prize winner Jose Antonio Vargas was the "White People" host.

To many of the young white people in documentary, the concept of race was an unfamiliar  topic - something they just didn't talk about much - and they were clearly uncomfortable when confronted with the advantages and privileges that they had never considered.

The show was at its best when it debunked white beliefs of minority advantages.

Katie, a young woman from Scottsdale, Arizona, complained about minorities winning all the scholarships was chagrined when she learned that whites in fact, win 75% of all merit=based scholarships and have a 40% greater chance of getting a scholarship than students of color. 

UPDATE: Jose Antonio Vargas responds to the critics

In another segment, an Italian American family who believed Asians were "taking over" Bensonhurst, a neighborhood in Brooklyn that was once an exclusively Italian enclave, was made to realize that the new immigrants were doing what all their own immigrant forefathers did  - "transitioning" not only neighborhoods, but themselves as well.

The host, Filipino/American Vargas, to his credit, took great pains to not  attack his subjects but only to tell them the facts. 

White People - the show - shouldn't be viewed as a standalone. MTV has provided a website - lookdifferent.org -where one can explore the topic further, what they can do, how to counter one's own biases, listen to the celebrities and personalities express their thoughts on the subject.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the key to the future of America's race relations, is not how people of color or immigrants integrate themselves into society, but how white Americans adjust to being another ethnic group among many. Will the latter be willing to share the benefits that our country offers, or will there be more Trumps, Dylann Roofs and O'Reilly's to rile up the white (soon-to-be) minority.

In a way, White People, is asking that question. And to MTV's credit, they know who their audience is - the young people, teenagers and people in their 20s - the so-called Millennial generation. Even the young people interviewed in the documentary, despite their awkwardness talking about race, seemed to realize the inevitability of the demographic changes that is occurring. 

RELATED: America's challenge is learning to live with itself

Numerous studies have concluded that the Millennials are - despite the Roofs of the world - are more tolerant of different lifestyles, different religions and different races.

White People is far from perfect. There was no way 40 minutes, no matter how well crafted, could convincingly address the complex issue of race relations in the United States., especially from the perspective of European Americans.

Yeah, White People didn't get as complex as some may have wanted and there it would have been easy to get bogged down in the historical, psychological and sociological factors that makes race such a difficult subject to tackle for a single television documentary. What MTV and Vargas did succeed in was to make the topic more accessible to its young target demographic. I hope there are follow-ups especially addressing MTV's audience, (cliche' it may be) who will eventually decide which direction the discussion on race will go; and which direction America will go.

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