Do European/Americans get too stressed out when talking about race?

From a BuzzFeed video.

DON'T BE too hard on your European/American coworkers or classmates. Life is getting more uncomfortable for them as they find it nearly impossible to not interact with people of color in our changing America.

As the Black Lives Matter movement, the political rhetoric of the presidential candidates,  the attacks against Muslims, Supreme Court Justice Anthony Scalia and the attempts to use the Model Minority Myth against other people of color clearly demonstrates - race is still a dividing line in America.

The lens through which we People of Color (POC) see the world is dramatically different from the way European/Americans see the world.

While European/Americans may find it difficult to talk about race, that is a topic most of us are all too familiar with since we deal with it every day. EVERY DAY! 

Racism has taken a different form from the days of lynchings and cross-burnings that spurred the Civil Rights Movement.

In our country's discourse, racism is still defined as a matter of individual, intentional and overt action. If there isn’t a noose hanging, many people will not identify an action as being racist, even if it results in racial disparities. Redefining racism as something that is often systemic, unconscious and hidden is a reboot that all Americans need right now, whatever their age.

The brilliant satirist Molly Ivins said: ‘The second George Bush was born on third base but believes he hit a triple.’ In the same vein, GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump's father gave him $1 million to start his career and the Donald believes he's a self-made man.. That gets to the heart of what white privilege is all about, Bush, Trump and many folks in the top 1 percent are people who achieved their status in life and believe it’s solely because they have sacrificed and worked hard.

it may be too easy to dump on Euro/Americans in retaliation for all the slights and microaggressions heaped upon you as you were growing up, you might unwittingly push them into a self-defensive corner.

As this video from our friends at BuzzFeed demonstrates, not sharing the experiences of POC, even the most well-intentioned EA's - many of whom we call our friends - get tense and awkward about the topic or race. They may be reluctant to join the race conversation, you shouldn't avoid it either when the topic arises. It is important that they understand your perspective if you want your friendship to flower or professional relationship to prosper.

When is the best time for that conversation on race? It could be anytime or anywhere. Drinks after work, at a friend's party, during a video game, at a pizza joint or in the classroom. Your EA friend/corworker/classmate should feel honored that you trust them enough to include them with the thoughts we have been taught to keep to ourselves.

When the forbidden race topic comes up, try hard not to get defensive or too combative, says Derald Wing Sue, a psychology and education professor at Teachers College, Columbia University and author of “Race Talk and the Conspiracy of Silence.”and “Microaggressions in Everyday Life: Race, Gender and Sexual Orientation,”

“Most whites get defensive – ‘Oh no, you are just over-sensitive. You are reading something into it,” Sue says. “Entertain a possibility that the individual bringing up the observation, complaint or a problematic situation may be accurate. Don’t shut it off immediately by denouncing it because it is not within your consciousness."

When people say that they are "color-blind" in their relationships, they are missing the point. The color of my skin helped define who we are. If someone doesn't see the tone of our skin, they are not seeing us.

People of color shouldn’t let themselves off the hook, either, says Sue. Consider how you might respond to the earnest efforts of whites you know by asking questions and allowing them to be human, too. “Committing blunders is okay if we learn from them. When you commit a racial blunder, it’s how you recover, not how you cover up. ... I try to communicate that we are all good, moral, decent individuals. I don’t see you personally as the antagonist or the enemy. ... You weren’t born wanting to be a racist. ... You took this on, through a painful process of conditioning, just like I as a person of color have been culturally conditioned in ways that have been harmful to me. . . . We need to work together to overcome these shackles of cultural conditioning.”

We are all human and we all have our own personal biases based on our own personal experiences and the environment in which we were raised. Maybe admitting that is Step One.

For more news about Asian/Americans and Pacific Islanders, link to AsAm News.

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Slain Asian American cop was pursuing the American Dream

NYPD officer Rafael Ramos, left, and Wenjian Liu.

SLAIN POLICE officer Wenjian Liu was pursuing the American dream says his family when he and his partner Officer Rafael Ramos were killed by a mentally imbalanced man who ended up taking his own life. Before ambushing the NY police officers on Dec. 20, he had earlier shot his girlfriend.

Ramos' funeral was held last Saturday (Dec. 27) and was attended by over 23,000 police officers from across the country and Vice President Joe Biden.

Liu's funeral was finalized Sunday. It will be held next Sunday, 10 a.m., at the same funeral home where Ramos' funeral was held. It took longer to plan Liu's funeral because arrangements had to be made for relatives to fly in from China.

The 32-year-old Liu had been with the force for seven years and was married October, 2014. He was supposed to be off duty that day but volunteered for on duty after Ramos' regular partner couldn't report to work.

UPDATE: What was pathetic was the reaction to a news video of the Liu family at a news conference. Reaction was racist and called the family reaction phony. Just, so-o-o pathetic! Here's a thought-provoking piece by Joan Walsh on the epic white backlash.

According to a statement provided by the Liu family, Wenjian Liu came to the United States on Dec. 24, 1994, when he was 12 years old. The Liu's traveled thousands of miles "to seek the American dream from Canton, China" and in search of "a better life for the family."

NY Mayor Bill De Blasio has been roundly criticized by the NYPD rank and file for statements he made immediately after the grand jury decision on Eric Garner,  who was killed by a police officer using an illegal choke hold.

A Staten Island grand jury decided not to indict the officer and that sparked nationwide protests which came on the heels of a similar grand jury decision in the shooting death of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri.

De Blasio, who is married to an African-American woman and have bi-racial kids, said he had to advise his son how to act when interacting with police. NYPD officers took those statements as being anti-police and inferred that he encouraged anti-police action. There had already been tension between the mayor and the police prior to the Garner decision.

During Ramos' funeral last Saturday, thousands of police officers turned their back on the mayor as he spoke. The New York Times wrote an editorial blasting the police tactic of politicizing an event meant to be a solemn tribute to one of their own.

"That funeral was held to honor Officer Ramos, and to bring politics, to bring issues into that event, I think was very inappropriate and I do not support it," said Commissioner Bill Bratton on CBS' Face The Nation. "He is the mayor of New York. He was there representing the citizens of New York to express their remorse and their regret at that death."

Vice President Biden and his wife Jill visited Liu's widow and family after delivering and emotional eulogy during Ramos' funeral.

The officers' deaths had been linked to the Garner and Brown protests because of reports that the killer, who had a long police record, had been angered at the grand jury decisions sand anti-police statements on his Instagram account.

The families of both Brown and Garner condemned the shootings and condemned any violence - either against police or during the protests.

Police supporters have created the hashtag #NYPDLivesMatter to counter the #BlackLivesMatter. In actuality #AllLivesMatter. 

Garner, Brown, Ramos, Liu - and the killer, too -- are all the victims of fear and hate, victims of the uniforms they wear, or the color of their skin, victims of our country's polarization into red and blue, haves and have-nots or the us-vs-them mentality that divides us.

Perhaps, Police Commissioner Bratton said it best:
“The police, the people who are angry at the police, the people who support us but want us to be better, even a madman who assassinated two men because all he could see was two uniforms, even though they were so much more. We don’t see each other. If we can learn to see each other, to see that our cops are people like Officer Ramos and Officer Liu, to see that our communities are filled with people just like them, too. If we can learn to see each other, then when we see each other, we’ll heal. We’ll heal as a department. We’ll heal as a city. We’ll heal as a country.”

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