Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Review: 'House of Ho' shines a light on some of the darker aspects of being Asian American

'House of Ho' centers around Houston's Ho family.

REVIEW

Frankly, I was surprised to see House of Ho return for a second season. The credo for most Asian American families is to avoid airing their dirty laundry in public. The Ho family of Houston dares to go against that stereotype.

The draw of reality shows, is that your personal life with all its flaws, becomes public domain and examined under a microscope -- no matter how embarrassing or sensitive it might be. At the end of the last season, I wasn't sure if the Ho's had the courage to go where most families would circle the wagons.

It takes a certain amount of courage, and a certain amount of chutzpah, to submit oneself to the ever-present camera lens. To be honest, in the case of eldest son Washington, it takes a lot of overblown sense of self-importance to pull the show together by inserting himself into every family squabble and/or new relationship. It was Washington's idea to make the the reality show about his family in the first place.

FYI: House of Ho streams on HBOmax. 

"I saw the success of the Kardashians and thought, 'My family is pretty interesting, too!'" Washington says when speaking about the idea for the series. "I had a few friends in Hollywood that were producers, made a few phone calls and they said, 'You might have something here.' Then Crazy Rich Asians came out and showed me that there was a market for this."

When we last left the Ho's of Houston about a year and a half ago, with the pandemic taking hold, a second season was uncertain. Boyfriend Nate, a successful chiropractor, had just very publicly proposed to Judy Ho, oldest child of Binh and Hue Ho, who created a family empire after migrating to Houston from Vietnam in the 1970s. And American-born Lesley revealed in the first season finale of her husband Washington's drinking problem that threatened their marriage. Since then, a lot has happened, and not all of it has been good. 

In House of Ho, season 2, we explore further the patrimony that exists in Asian cultures, ie. the propensity for Asian American families to dote on their sons at the expense of their daughters; and bringing to the forefront the toxic masculinity that is nurtured by the patrimony. Much of the tension arises when when that Asian value collides with the values of the modern American woman.

When revealing the biggest lesson he has learned, Washington tells Mediavillage the topic of toxic masculinity revealing a change may be in the offfering. "Vulnerability is courage," he says. "Being an Asian male, I thought vulnerability was weakness, but having to be on-camera, being honest, and being my authentic self has really changed my life for the better."

"As an Asian male, especially born into a business family, a lot of the ways we celebrate is drinking, partying, entertainment," he added. "I'm very proud of myself that I could step out of that and inspire other Asian males that's not the only way to celebrate. I'm so happy and proud that I have such a great family, a great production team, a great network that supports my sobriety. One of the greatest things that my team at HBO Max did was provide me support throughout filming, and that was just something huge for me."

What differentiates the House of Ho from Netflix's Bling Empire, which focuses on the L.A.-based Asian Americans in the same 1% tax bracket as the Ho's, is that the House of Ho focuses on family interactions and intergenerational conflicts rather than the problem of having too much money and not using their fortunes to satisfy their own selfish needs, real and manufactured.

What both shows share is that they destroy the stereotype of the Asian American family being quiet and subservient to the white upper-class even at the expense of exposing the dark side of chasing the American Dream at any cost.

Although dubbed a reality show, House of Ho and Bling Empire present only one facet of the AANHPI communities. Seen by themselves, the two shows present a distorted view of Asian Americans. The Asian Americans that inhabit the worlds of House of Ho and Bling Empire presents a side of AANHPI folks that is as far from the reality of most of Asian Americans. The Ho's represesnt AANHIP about as much real as the Kardasians represent Armenian Americans.

But, you know what? That's OK. People need to be exposed to all different kinds of AANHPI in order to get a clearer picture of who we are and who we aren't. I've yet to see a TV program that depicts a complicated three-dimensional Asian American.

"For all Asian males out there, we can make music. We can be in the mainstream. We shouldn't be afraid. My kids might want to be in Hollywood and be in acting, in the arts one day. But at least now they can come to me and ask me how I did it or how did we create this show," says Washington. 

"For all Asians around the world, we're not supposed to always be the lawyer or the engineers or the doctors. And if you're not, it's OK.," he continued. "That's my message is that it's OK to be yourself, be human. It's OK to fall. It happens. We are not perfect and no one else is. Love yourself, love your family, love your community and we'll all be OK as long as we're not being Ho's, right?"

For audiences, we're left with the question: Is that an honest revelation or was it all for the cameras for the sake of looking good to the vast audience out there? Will the Ho family continue to survive after the travails of Season 2? Will HBO continue to allow itself to function as Washington's personal therapeutic journey?

Washington  is brave enough to be himself and he may rub people the wrong way. He's certainly not role model material, but he's OK. I'm OK. You're OK. House of Ho is OK, too.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For additional commentary, news and views from an AANHPI perspective, follow @DioknoEd on Twitter. 

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