Mother kills self and her 3 children after father commits suicide

LEE FAMILY

Molly Cheng, Lee Yee and their children.

Minnesota authorities are calling the deaths of a Hmong American family a triple homicide and a double suicide.

Molly Cheng, 23, drowned her three young children and herself July 1 after she called police earlier that day to report that her husband, Yee Lee, 27, had shot himself, authorities said.

After Molly Cheng's call Maplewood police, a relative called 911 to report that Molly Cheng intended to kill herself and her three children. Authoritieis, who were sending a social worker to the Cheng family after Yee Lee's suicide, put out a statewide alert and began a frantic search for the family. It wasn't until Tuesday, July 5, that the bodies of the mother and her children were pulled from Vadnais Lake.

The Ramsey County medical examiner reported that Quadrillion T. Lee, 4; Phoenix Lee, 5; and Estella Zoo Siab Lee, 3, all drowned. The youngest two had also been smothered, the medical examiner ruled.

Their mother, Molly Cheng, 23, drowned, and Yee Lee, believed to be the children's father, died of a gunshot wound.

Family spokesman Chong Lue Lee, father of Yee Lee, said he wasn’t aware whether either his son or Cheng struggled with mental health issues. He described his son and Cheng as nice, kind people. the couple were both born in Thailand and grew up in the Thai refugee camp, Wat Tham Krabok.

“They are the last wave of Hmong refugees from Wat Tham Krabok,” Lee said of a group of Hmong refugees who left the camp in the early 2000s.

Both met in the Twin Cities and had been together for seven years. The couple operated a nail and hair salon in Brooklyn Park, Lee said. 

When police arrived after Molly Cheng called about Yee Lee's suicide, family members began gathering. Police tape prevented them from entering the house but they began making plans for the children. Molly Cheng rejected the offer to have the children spend the night at Chong Lue Lee's home. She did not want to be separated from her children.

The extended family left Molly Cheng and her children at the house believing the police would remain but the police soon left leaving the family alone.

At that point, Molly Chen left with her children. She called a friend to say what her intentions were. The friend called family and the relatives alerted police.

Authorities found the children's shoes near the lake and began dragging the lake. The first body was found Sunday, JJuly 5. By Monday, all the bodies had been recovered.

“We greatly appreciate that the police were present at the scene when my son passed away,” Chong Lue Lee said. “But we wished they could do more to prevent the loss of the other four lives.”

“We wish there would be 24-hour supervision for the mother and the children because of the father, because of what happened to him,” the elder Lee told a local TV station. “In a short time, less than three hours, the police release the mother and kids, and then in that three hours, a thing happened to those children. So wouldn’t it be better for there to be 24-hour supervision after such [a] tragedy happened to their loved one?”

Leaders in the close-knit Hmong community spoke with 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS Monday, explaining they are counseling not only the victims’ families but also Hmong families throughout the Twin Cities.

“Right now, the community is still in shock mode,” said Paul Xiong with the Hmong 18 Council of Minnesota. “This would be the second time this happened in the community.”

The Hmong 18 Council was formed more than 20 years ago when a Hmong mother killed her children.

The Hmong 18 Council of Minnesota along with family and community members will hold a candlelight vigil at Vadnais Lake Saturday, July 9 from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.

Family members of Lee and Cheng have set up a fundraiser on GoFundMe to help defray funeral expenses.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For additional commentary, news and views from an AANHPI perspective, follow @DioknoEd on Twitter.

Darren Criss pens heartbreaking post about his late brother

INSTAGRAM

Charles Criss, left, and Darren Criss.

Actor Darren Criss, 35, posted on Instagram on Wednesday, Mar. 2, a moving tribute to his 36-year-old brother, who had recently died by suicide. 

The Filipino American actor remembers his "vibrant, special, worldly" older brother, Charles "Chuck" Criss, who he said had been struggling with depression.

"It breaks my heart beyond measure to say that my beloved brother Charles has left us," Criss wrote illustrated with family photos and images of his 36-year old brother. "His loss leaves behind a debilitating fracture in the lives of his mother, his brother, his three small children, and their respective mothers."

"Despite our very vocal concerns about his well-being, and his protestations that everything was fine, it's crushing to say now that Chuck clearly had had a severe depression welling up in him for some time," he posted on social media. "A depression that was only outmatched by his all-too-incredible ability to conceal it. Not just from the world at large, but most tragically, from the people who were closest to him."

"We will never know just how long he was fighting this war within himself," Criss wrote. "But last week, it consumed him fully, and he succumbed by taking his own life."

Criss, who had his breakout role on the television series Glee, encouraged others who feel similarly lost or hopeless to reach out. "Seeking professional counseling and support is a wonderful way to help you see just how abundantly love is available to you," he explained. "There is simply too much love readily available in this world to lose sight of that."

"While it was a lapse in Chuck's mental wellness that took him, it is simply not something that can define who he was," Criss wrote of his brother. "All of the wonderful, inspiring, positive things about his life far outshine the circumstances by which it came to an end."

"He was a good man with a good heart who contributed enormous amounts of laughter, music, and joy to the world," said Criss. "And for the ones who were lucky enough to take part in those wonderful moments, it's marvelous to know that those memories are plentiful, everlasting, and can never be taken away."

"I loved my brother so much. And I know he loved me. Right out of the womb, he was my instant, ready-made best friend. And from that moment on, we absolutely loved bring together. Charles & Darren were an inseparable, dynamic duo," wrote Criss.  We shared nearly everything and looked out for each other. He was my confidant and companion as we discovered the world together." The brothers grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. 

Criss encouraged others who feel similarly lost or hopeless to reach out. "Seeking professional counseling and support is a wonderful way to help you see just how abundantly love is available to you," he explained. "There is simply too much love readily available in this world to lose sight of that."

AAPI LGBTQ youth are more likely to open up to their friends than to family

NQAPIA

Asian American parents who love their LGBTQ children.

Asian American and Pacific Islander youth who are LGBTQ are more likely to come out to their friends than to their parents, according to a new report.
The research, released Wednesday by the Trevor Project, an LGBTQ crisis intervention and suicide prevention organization, also found that LGBTQ youth were less likely to attempt suicide by more than 50 percent as a result of widespread acceptance among their friends.

“Though many LGBT Asians are out in the community, they go back into the closet in their families, fearful of coming out to parents and dishonoring them. Gay Asians should not suffer in silence," acknowledged  Glenn Magpantay, executive director of National Queer Asian Pacific Islander Alliance.

Acceptance of sexual orientation from LGBTQ friends (98%) and straight friends (91%) were high and comparable to rates of non-AAPII LGBTQ youth., the study reports.

Rates of gender identity acceptance among AAPI TGNB youth from LGBTQ friends (96%) and straight friends (72%) were also comparable to rates among non-API youth. Sexual orientation acceptance from straight friends reduced the risk for suicide attempts among API LGBTQ youth by more than half.

“We know that coming out is a personal choice and a lifelong process, that individuals get to choose who and what context they come out to,” Amy Green, director of research at The Trevor Project, said. “The conclusion that really sounds strong there is for those who are friends and others in positions to support Asian American Pacific Islander youth can know how valuable and important that authentic acceptance is.”

Research shows that LGBT youth are more than four times more likely to attempt suicide than their peers. The Trevor Project estimates that more than 1.8 million LGBTQ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 in the U.S. seriously consider suicide each year. In the organization’s 2019 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, 87% of LGBTQ youth said it was important to them to reach out to a crisis intervention organization that focuses on LGBTQ youth.

However, among AAPI LGBTQ youth reported lower rates of depressed mood and suicidality compared to non-API LGBTQ youth, according to the study by the Trevor Project.

"It's difficult to make any gay-affirming resources, Asian Pacific Islander specific or not, available to our families because even discussing a family member's sexual orientation or gender identity breaks a major rule in our culture, which is to never talk about our 'problems,'" said Trinity Ordona, a longtime activist for LGBTQ rights. 

"That's why we work to educate the entire Asian Pacific Islander community about LGBT issues, because the less they are seen as problems, the more our families and friends will be able to talk about it."

"We are concerned about our family and the huge fear of rejection we may face," said Ordona. "It's true that many Asian parents tend to be very conservative and protective of their children. But once you can get them behind their kids, they will take on the world!"

Anthony Bourdain, RIP; he promoted Asian cuisines to western audiences

White House photographer took this shot with Anthony Bourdain and President Barack Obama in Hanoi.

TO CALL Anthony Bourdain a food critic is to miss the whole point of his television series traveling around the world to taste and experience the world. Food was both a gateway and the result of a people's culture.

TV host Bourdain committed suicide today in Paris, France. He was 61.

President Obama tweeted out the same picture above with his own condolences:

It's not often a U.S. President will tweet about a TV personality.

Whether he would have admit or not, Bourdain's influence on America's palate preferences were tremendous. He especially elevated Asian cuisines to a level at least equal to that of the better known cuisines of France, Italy and Spain.

“I’m not a critic." he said. "I was 30 years in the restaurant business. I don’t want to think about my food. I don’t want to evaluate it and write tasting notes and score them on a basis of one to ten… I want to experience food emotionally, like a child. I want to be lost in the moment. I want to take a bite of food and it takes me to another time or in another place, whether it’s my childhood or somebody else’s childhood. Anybody’s grandma’s food is preferable in my mind than a fine dining restaurant in almost every case.”

Comedian Jenny Yang appreciated the transcultural exchanges offered by Bourdain's programs.

Through his shows on the Food Channel and on CNN, Bourdain introduced an appreciation of Asian food and culture to geographically challenged Americans. He raised questions in Euro-centric America's mind that perhaps there is a world beyond Europe with people who just as creative, innovative, daring, brave or adventurous as someone from the countries of Europe.

He loved all cuisines. Food, after all, is the product of historical and environmental circumstances. To know a peoples' food is to learn something about their culture. Bourdain never looked down on the food offered to him, whether it be from a street vendor in Vietnam or a hold-in-the-wall ramen noodle shop in Tokyo. He lived -- and ate -- in the moment.

“There is nothing more political than food… The things that we eat are the direct reflection of our histories,” he said. “The ingredients, whether they are dried, they are pickled or preserved, these are reflections of long, often painful histories. That’s how we got to these dishes.”

“I often say wealthy cultures that are lucky and fortunate and prosperous generally don’t cook very well because they never had to,” he continued. “It’s the countries that struggle that make the most of what they have who, over time, learned to make wonderful things.”

He often said that if had a last meal, he would want it to be high grade sushi. If he had to move to a city and stay they forever, he said it would be Tokyo.

For me, I'll always remember him for his visits to the Philippines or when he went to Filipino/American restaurants in the U.S. 

SCREEN CAPTURE

Anthony Bourdain in the Phlippines.

In one visit, he said in one of his famous monologues that asks questions for the audience to ponder; question  to which he will find an answer to during the episode:

This episode is an attempt to address the question of why so many Filipinos are so damn caring. Why they care so much -- for each other -- for strangers. Because my experience is far from unusual. Hundreds of thousands -- maybe millions -- of children have been raised by Filipino nannies. Usually mothers of their own children who they were forced to leave behind in the Philippines.

Doctors, nurses, housekeepers, babysitters, in so many cases, people who you'd call "caregivers" but who, in every case I've ever heard of, actually care. Where does this kindness, this instinct for ... charity come from?

Along with fellow TV traveler/host Andrew Zimmern (Bizarre Foods), Bourdain was an advocate for Filipino food. He would tell U.S. food critics that the cuisine from the Philippines would become the "next big thing."

He told CNN that he thinks Filipino food will be the next big thing in America, naming the dish pork sisig as the gateway drug. Sisig, the sizzling, crispy pork dish, he said, is "perfectly positioned to win the hearts and minds of the world as a whole."

He believes that American palates weren’t ready for the sour notes of traditional Filipino dishes, but they’ve evolved in the last few years as evidenced by the popularity of D.C.’s Bad Saint and others and credit should be given to the numerous food truck entrepreneurs who have introducedd sisig, lumpia and adobo to adventurous foodies.

Bourdain's suicide shocked the culianary world and drew a reaction from fellow celebrity chefs. 

David Chang, founder of the Momofuku empire, tweeted a black box with the lyrics from songwriter Will Oldham. 

TV host and chef Ming (Tsai) tweeted ... "just so sad ..."

Xi'an Famous Foods, a popular New York City restaurant chain that specializes in northwestern Chinese cuisine, announced that it's donating its net sales to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline today in honor of Anthony Bourdain.

Jason Wang, the company's CEO, credits Bourdain with much of their success. Their business has been booming since Bourdain's visit in 2007. Wang wrote a moving tribute to Bourdain in a series of tweets. Read it here.

In his book Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly, Bourdain wrote:

“[When I die], I will decidedly not be regretting missed opportunities for a good time. My regrets will be more along the lines of a sad list of people hurt, people let down, assets wasted and advantages squandered.”

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.

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